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I love you still | Final note before I head out

Journal Entry: Sat Mar 14, 2009, 11:31 PM
  • Mood: Defeated
  • Listening to: "Still" -- Alanis Morissette
  • Reading: The Waste Lands -- Stephen King
  • Watching: Firefly, Stargate Atlantis
  • Playing: Fallout 3, WoW
:music::music::music:
"I am your joy and your regret.
I am your fury and your elation.
I am your yearning and your sweat.
I am your faithless and your religion."

:music::music::music:
********************************************************

This hellish week is finally over.

Last Friday, I greeted the morning sick and feeling like crap. It lasted the entire weekend and into this week. Monday I barely made it through the whole day at work and I had to stay home Tuesday because I didn't want a repeat of the day before. It's finally going away, almost as quickly as it came. Still coughing, but it's tolerable.

Jon's father went in for knee surgery on Wednesday and should be home some time this weekend. He's going to be out of work for a while as he recovers, so we're going to have to do more than usual here. Depending on when his father can go back to work, we may have to put off moving. Hopefully all will be well though, and we can be out on our own come May.

Now for the real reason I'm writing this entry.
I have very little creativity left, and no energy after work with which to work on a new project. I want to do another photomanipulation, but what is the point anymore?
I've been here for five years now, and for the last three, the time between my submissions is getting longer and longer. I don't have the patience for this anymore. For the first time, I actually had to unwatch someone I love very dearly because his journals and polls made me avoid looking in my inbox. This place has brought me nothing but hopelessness and resentment as of late. dA has gotten impersonal and too massive for my tastes. We're getting more and more trolls and flamers and art-thieves and general assholes every day. So if I'm not around to drop my monthly journal for a while, this is why. I just can't do this anymore.
You all have me on your Myspace friends. At least, those few of you who actually give a damn about me (=eskimoblueboy and =Ex1 are the sole exceptions). You can find me there. I may reply to comments for a couple of more days, but I don't think I'll be here much longer.

~Final Note~
I just wanted to let you guys know that this moratorium probably won't be a permanent thing. At some point, I'm sure things will get better and I'll be able to create again, and hopefully be active here again without getting stressed out. But I don't see that happening any time within the next few months. Perhaps after we've moved and I can finally start a fresh chapter instead of wallowing in this stagnant rut. Sometimes one just needs to step back and take a break, even from a place that has brought them so much joy and so many amazing friends over the years.

Take care.

[Rant Ended]

:rose: :iconsaffyre-onyx: :rose:
********************************************************
~Clubs~
:iconstop-the-violence::iconvictimsupportgroup::iconcaffeineaddicts:
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~My Favorite Stock Goddesses~
:iconmizzd-stock::iconelandria::iconlockstock::iconhiddenyume-stock::iconpersephonestock:

Devious Comments

love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconex1:
I imagine that your purpose in being here actually has been served. I mean you had fun while you were here and you made some friends and had some experiences you'll never forget. I mean you met who you're with through here so I don't know how much more you want out of this place that people would love to have had.

But...if you can't do this anymore, that makes a lot of sense. You've done it a long time.

--
Crying is a right! My tears mean as much as yours do... though I live a life without them.
:iconeskimoblueboy:
I'll miss you my friend. I hope all goes wonderfully for you and those you love. :hug::heart:

--
If I could tell the story in words, I wouldn't need to lug a camera. --Lewis Hine

:peace: :hug: :love:
:iconsaffyre-onyx:
Thank you. :hug:

It will likely be only temporary, a few months. Sometimes you just need a break from some things, you know?
:iconsaffyre-onyx:
I have loved being here. In the past. But it's just not like that for me anymore. Coming here has been like a chore, and when things get like that you just need to step back and take a break.
I'm sure at some point, I'll have a burning desire to photomanip' something, or I'll actually write something worth reading and come back. :shrug: Time will tell, I suppose.
:iconeskimoblueboy:
I understand. I feel that way here sometimes too. :heart::hug:

--
If I could tell the story in words, I wouldn't need to lug a camera. --Lewis Hine

:peace: :hug: :love:
:iconarchmagesynok:
*HUGS*

--
The voice that pierces deep into my chest is like a never-ending cheer.
:iconeskimoblueboy:
:) Yes, sometimes a change of scenery is all it takes. :hug:

--
If I could tell the story in words, I wouldn't need to lug a camera. --Lewis Hine

:peace: :hug: :love:
:iconx-outsider-x:
:( I will miss you. :hug:

--
That thou mayest be everything
seek to be nothing.

~St. John of the Cross

Shoutbox

~archmagesynok:iconarchmagesynok:
shout! shout! let it all out! ... BLOOOOORGH!
Sun Dec 28, 2008, 7:02 PM
~purgatori:iconpurgatori:
Just stopping by to say hi. Hope things are well for you.
Fri Mar 14, 2008, 4:56 AM
*x-outsider-x:iconx-outsider-x:
Hey there :hug:
Fri Jan 25, 2008, 4:37 AM
=saffyre-onyx:iconsaffyre-onyx:
Many :hug:s for everyone!
Mon Sep 17, 2007, 10:18 PM
~Destructionist:iconDestructionist:
:glomp:
Sun Sep 16, 2007, 7:10 AM

Do you have a guilty music pleasure? 

67%
10 deviants said No, I don't really care who knows what music I like.
27%
4 deviants said Yes, and I'll confess them in a comment.
7%
1 deviant said Yes, and you're getting nothin' out of me.
0%
No deviants said No, all of my music is considered cool.

Shoutboard

~A bit of my art and photography~

















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