"They'll name a city after us
And later say it's all our fault.
Then they'll give us a talking to
Then they'll give us a talking to
'Cause they've got years of experience.
We're living in a den of thieves,
Rummaging for answers in the pages..."

********************************************************

Well, I figured it was time for another update, seeing as how the last time I posted a journal was in September. Although, it's fair to say that not much has happened since then.

My finger has healed up nicely. If I bang it or scratch the place where I got squished, it hurts like hell for a moment, and the finger's not quite shaped the exact way it used to be, but otherwise, all is well.

I'm less than two months away from getting my new fuzzy friend. I'm thinking this time I'll get a boy. I've never had a male cat before. I wonder if there's much of a difference. I've already got a few names picked out. I think I've decided on getting him from the animal shelter. The pet store in the mall is really expensive and they don't have all that many kittens to choose from. Plus, I'll need to save money because our apartment complex has a $200 pet deposit, and my rent will be going up by $20 a month once I fill out papers and such.

Got a new TV, finally. We've been using this old tube TV from the '90s. I'm pretty sure my family had the same model when I was a wee one. It even had the same buttons poked in -- the power and volume buttons.
And the new TV is just in time. A lot of new games/expansions are coming out this month. We're looking forward to Assassin's Creed II, the new Ratchet and Clank game, the new Sims 3 expansion, and I'm eager to try Dragon Age: Origins. I've also got a Puscifer EP coming out this month, which I'm dying to download (as of now, I believe it's only going to be a download).

Currently learning from a gorilla how to save the world.
You should all read Daniel Quinn's Ishmael series. Right now. Shoo. Go to the bookstore or the library and start reading. I'll be here waiting.

[Rant Ended]


********************************************************
~Clubs~

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~My Favorite Stock Goddesses~

"He stumbled into faith and thought,
'God, this is all there is?'
The pictures in his mind arose,
And began to breathe.
And no one saw, and no one heard.
They just followed lead.
The pictures in his mind arose,
And began to breed."

********************************************************

Ahh.... Three day weekend.

It's been a little while since I posted a journal, so I figured I'd give an update as to what's going on.
We're all settled in at the new apartment, but my computer is broken and I can't fix it. I've been stuck using Jon's computer while mine sits, gathering dust. Apparently my motherboard has a short or something and it caused the power supply to short. A coworker's husband put a new power supply in it and it fried immediately. Now I either have to save up for a new motherboard and power supply or an entirely new computer.

Luckily, worker's comp is paying for my smashed finger, so I may be able to afford it soon. Yeah, I squished my finger between two drills at work. I say "squished" because of the sheer amount of blood involved. No broken bones though. I went to the ER and had to wear a splint for a few days, but it's almost completely healed now. A little swollen still, but it's closed up and I don't need bandages anymore. I don't know how much the ER bill was, but I'm glad I gave in and let workers comp deal with it. The x-rays alone probably cost a good chunk of change.

In other news, Jon finally said I can get a kitten. Not now, of course, but in a few months, around Christmas time. So I've been window shopping, wishing. They have this adorable little black kitten at the pet store in the mall. He was so curious and active. The other one in the cage just slept, both times we saw them. I can't wait. I hope there's another one like him when I can finally get one. If not, I'm going to have to wait. I don't like lazy cats. My last cat, Stormy, was like a dog almost. I'm used to that type of pet.

But anyway. As far as art goes, I've been without Photoshop, mostly out of laziness. I need to install it, because I've had some photomanipulatey urges lately. My current read has been very inspiring. Now if only I could find the right stock images....

[Rant Ended]


********************************************************
~Clubs~

********************************************************
~My Favorite Stock Goddesses~

"I must go on standing,
You can't break that which isn't yours.
I must go on standing,
I'm not my own, it's not my choice."

********************************************************

Has it only been four months? It felt like so much longer since I waved goodbye.

I suppose I should start this with a big hug to any of you still here. I've missed dA. Well, that's not entirely true. Sometimes I missed it and sometimes I didn't think too much about it. Most of you linger on the other sites I visit as well, so I wasn't really leaving much behind.

Now for a small update.
I'm no longer making buckets. Well, not all the time. I finally got moved off of the molding machines and now I am working on the floor, which means more freedom and I don't have to be moving around constantly. Oh, and my hands don't bleed all the time anymore. However, my arms and legs look like giant bruises and I have no idea how the hell that's happening. Working on the floor is relatively easy. But since our production manager passed away, the work on the machines is getting harder and harder. Lifting boxes of "xtreme duty" 20x8 buckets over my head is a bitch.

Of course, it doesn't help that I spent all of last weekend lifting furniture up and down flights of stairs.

That's right, we moved. We now live in a lovely 1bed-1bath apartment with a loft and a fireplace. I'll be posting some pictures on my myspace now that we finally have the phone and internet hooked up here. And I finally have a real bed to sleep on! It was such a relief after having slept for three years on the barely-there mattress from a pullout couch, which was set directly on the floor because the frame was broken. I was so tired of springs puncturing my lungs in the night.

I also turned 21 this month. It was stressful at the time. Most of you know how I felt about alcohol, how excessively opposed to it I was. But I've come to realize that my obsession with it was probably about as unhealthy as being an alcoholic, just in a different way. I let it control my life, let it make me depressed and angry and anxious.
I didn't drink on my 21st. But I have had a couple of foofoo beers since, and my worries about ending up like my father shouldn't have been worries. I am a completely different person, who happens to just not like the taste of alcohol very much, as it turns out.

Anyway, after lunch we're going over to Jon's parents house to do more cleaning, so I better go. But I'm going to leave you guys with a brand new poem.

[Rant Ended]


********************************************************
~Clubs~

********************************************************
~My Favorite Stock Goddesses~

"I am your joy and your regret.
I am your fury and your elation.
I am your yearning and your sweat.
I am your faithless and your religion."

********************************************************

This hellish week is finally over.

Last Friday, I greeted the morning sick and feeling like crap. It lasted the entire weekend and into this week. Monday I barely made it through the whole day at work and I had to stay home Tuesday because I didn't want a repeat of the day before. It's finally going away, almost as quickly as it came. Still coughing, but it's tolerable.

Jon's father went in for knee surgery on Wednesday and should be home some time this weekend. He's going to be out of work for a while as he recovers, so we're going to have to do more than usual here. Depending on when his father can go back to work, we may have to put off moving. Hopefully all will be well though, and we can be out on our own come May.

Now for the real reason I'm writing this entry.
I have very little creativity left, and no energy after work with which to work on a new project. I want to do another photomanipulation, but what is the point anymore?
I've been here for five years now, and for the last three, the time between my submissions is getting longer and longer. I don't have the patience for this anymore. For the first time, I actually had to unwatch someone I love very dearly because his journals and polls made me avoid looking in my inbox. This place has brought me nothing but hopelessness and resentment as of late. dA has gotten impersonal and too massive for my tastes. We're getting more and more trolls and flamers and art-thieves and general assholes every day. So if I'm not around to drop my monthly journal for a while, this is why. I just can't do this anymore.
You all have me on your Myspace friends. At least, those few of you who actually give a damn about me (=eskimoblueboy and =Ex1 are the sole exceptions). You can find me there. I may reply to comments for a couple of more days, but I don't think I'll be here much longer.

~Final Note~
I just wanted to let you guys know that this moratorium probably won't be a permanent thing. At some point, I'm sure things will get better and I'll be able to create again, and hopefully be active here again without getting stressed out. But I don't see that happening any time within the next few months. Perhaps after we've moved and I can finally start a fresh chapter instead of wallowing in this stagnant rut. Sometimes one just needs to step back and take a break, even from a place that has brought them so much joy and so many amazing friends over the years.

Take care.

[Rant Ended]


********************************************************
~Clubs~

********************************************************
~My Favorite Stock Goddesses~

"I am too connected to you
To slip away, fade away.
Days away I still feel you
Touching me, changing me...
Considerately killing me."

********************************************************

About a month ago, WoW put out another patch with some fixes and additions. Well, it completely screwed up my game and I had to uninstall it. Tonight, I've started the six hour long task of reinstalling and downloading all of the patches for it.

So here I am, typing up a fresh journal for the three people who might decide to drop by and read it.

I went to Borders the other day and bought books two and three of The Dark Tower series. Started on number two Tuesday night. I've got about 1/4 left before I finish. It's been good. I'm eager to start on the next book, probably tomorrow. And then it's off to the book store again. I should really talk to Jon's brother about borrowing his series, but I'm the kind of person who likes to go back and re-read books. It depresses me when I don't have them on hand.

We've started looking at furniture for when we move in the late spring (assuming one of our eventual applications is accepted). I never realized how expensive furniture is. It's lucky Jon's parents are giving us the loveseat in the livingroom. But we still need a real bed (yeah, I'm still sleeping on the cardboard thin pull-out couch/bed mattress, which has been laying on the bedroom floor since the frame fell apart), a TV stand, a decent livingroom TV, and some barstools if we can't get a small table and a couple chairs. We've got kitchen stuff taken care of, and we have a big table to put both of the computers on. I wouldn't mind a bookcase too, even just a cheap one.
When does moving into our first place get to be fun? Does it ever?

The Sims 3 has been put off until June. It was supposed to come out on the 20th of this month, and then EA got pissy and delayed it. Hopefully they will fix some big issues in that time -- namely the ability to easily make and put custom content into your game. It was a massive feature in the Sims 2, and I personally can't play without my custom content and mods. EA invited a bunch of the well known CC creators to a big event they hosted, and a good number of them were really ticked off at the seeming lack of support for custom meshes and textures.
But now I'm getting into the whole gaming thing, and I know that few of you guys give a damn about it, so I'll stop here.

I hope you all have a good tomorrow, and a beautiful weekend.

[Rant Ended]


********************************************************
~Clubs~

********************************************************
~My Favorite Stock Goddesses~